This is the checklist I wish I’d had before my first sensual (erotic) massage experience.
Most of the women who come to me have never received a sensual massage or any other kind of sexual service. In such a new situation (and especially if you’re neurodivergent!), it can be daunting to decide how to show up and to remember all the steps that need to happen.
That’s why I’ve put together this list of reminders and advice to get you ready for an experience as easy as it is blissful. If you have any questions not mentioned here, feel free to get in touch using the contact details in this page’s footer.
Before the day of the sensual massage
- Fill out the pre-massage questionnaire. If you have special requests for toys or other equipment, please submit the questionnaire sooner rather than later so I have time to make the magic happen behind the scenes.
- Prepare your payment. Withdraw and bring exact cash or let me know that you’d prefer to do a digital payment.
- Send your playlist. On the questionnaire, I ask about the music you’d like to be played during the massage. If you choose the ‘my own playlist’ option, please send me your playlist ahead of time so I can set it up.
- Message me with any questions, concerns, or changes. If any questions or concerns (even just pre-massage nerves!) come up, get in touch so we can talk through it. If you realise you need to move or cancel the massage, get in touch as soon as possible. I’ll consider at least partial refunds of the deposit for people who let me know about cancellations early enough to avoid incurring costs. Stay in touch so I can help both of us!
On the day of your sensual massage
- Come how you’re comfortable. Particularly when you’re a woman visiting another woman, preparing your body for a sensual massage can feel uncertain to navigate because (1) there are next to no models of female-to-female paid sex in the media and (2) since you’re both women, you might wonder if you need to match the masseuse’s level of made-up-ness to avoid feeling underdressed. However, one benefit of a sensual massage over a hookup or date is that there’s no pressure to dress to impress. That means there’s no need to remove body hair (including pubic hair), stress over your outfit, or wear makeup or jewellery. Some women prefer to do these things for a sensual massage because it makes the experience feel sexier to them. Others relish the opportunity to set these concerns aside. Since it’s how I’m most comfortable, I’ll have my legs and underarms shaved, my pubic hair trimmed, and my face made up.
- Keep hydrated. I’ll ensure you’re provided with water to drink before, during, and after the massage. Still, it’s a good idea to drink water steadily throughout the day leading up to the massage, too. Like any sexual activity, receiving a sensual message can be thirsty work.
- Eat meals that are normal for you. You’ll be lying on your front for a good portion of the massage, and a too-full stomach can make that a lot less fun!
- Get in touch. It really helps if you let me know (1) when you’re on your way and (2) what you’re wearing so I can identify you when we meet.
Common last-minute questions
Am I expected to tip?
It’s not uncommon to bring a tip or gift to a meeting with a sex worker. Personally, I don’t expect this and never view a lack of tipping as a reflection of our time together. If you end up loving the massage, the best way to show it is to send me a quick, anonymous testimonial describing how you feel afterwards and how the experience benefited you.
Will I get oil on my hair, jewellery, etc.?
Generally, I touch a woman’s scalp only at the very beginning of the massage, before there’s any oil involved. Still, over the course of the massage, little tendrils and strands might escape despite my efforts. So if ending up with oil on even a small portion of your hair is a no-go, bring a hair tie and let me know so we can thoroughly secure your hair before starting. I’ll also ask about this and have spare hair ties just in case.
As for jewellery and other wearables, I recommend taking off any items you worry might be damaged by grapeseed oil. You can do this when you undress and rinse off in the shower. If you’re not concerned, feel free to leave them on.
Why am I nervous?!
It’s normal! This is a probably a new experience, and an intimate one. I felt as ready, confident, and excited as could be about my first experience with a sex worker, and I still shook like a leaf in the hours before. Remember that the massage is tailored to you, and we can change anything you don’t feel comfortable with at any time. You’re doing a brave and amazing thing for your body and your potential.
If you haven’t booked your sapphic sensual massage yet, you can do that here!
